It's been 438,000 hours and 18,250 days
Since his birth, I did the math, hey hey hey hey
Hot-wired golf carts when he was teen aged
With co-conspirators, hey hey hey hey
Abandoned carts once the joyrides were done
In the lake, pool and elevator
Delinquents were whisked off to a prison
but they were just visiting with Scared Straight
(an at-risk youth program)

No one, Booster, no one compares 2 u

Secret Oktober was the boy band
that he was a member of
They were not the best band in the land
But warmed up Salt N Pepa once (push it, push it real good!)
'You're My Only Lover' was their tune
There are only two chords
I could have penned this to it but you
Y'all would've been so bored, bored, bored

Not a d!ckhead, but was a deckhand
For a big @$$ antique ship
Was in entourage of a gay man
Said gay Brit was rich
Booster busked in London for six months
Was he turning tricks?
In Italy, Booster lived with monks
Killing goats, but celibate? Imagine it...celibate?!
(On a related note, Stephinity may be the only gal here he hasn't slept with)

Learned Kung Fu that Bruce Lee invented
A black belt in masturbation?
Still fathered two boys, but killed one kid
The lactose allergic one
Booster fed a Cheeto to said kid
(to be fair, who knew Cheetos contained bona fide cheese?)
Medics revived his son
Ice cream, in his kid's eye, Booster dripped
Son looked like an alien, alien, alien
(If Booster ever teaches Parenting 101, warn EVERYONE you know to steer clear)

The mushroom chocolates in the icebox
Loki ate a few
When, daily, Booster was smoking pot
Didn't notice his son was too
Five bucks, to a kid, that is a lot
So sand, Loki consumed
Liam and Loki were sparring off
Spoken: Booster gave up trying to stop 'em, said, 'Just don't kill him dude'

This one time at Burning Man, this fucking guy
This guy fucked a dolphin (don't ask me)
Swore brownies were micro-dosed just right
Made partygoers sick
Litter boxes won't do for this guy
In toilets, his cat shits
Once drew a face on his bare behind
Smoked a lit cigarette with it – LIT, LIT

Cinnamon Swallowsworth is his drag name
Looks good in a dress
There's a meme with his doppelganger
It says, 'Your pussy is wet'
Fantasizes about becoming mist
And being inhaled by a lady
Caite, she calls Booster her little bitch
Bat calls him Shaman Shady