(to the tune of “Pony” as recorded by Ginuwine)
Sam was just a bachelor
Swiping for a Tinder date
One who could dance on tables
Without even falling off
Lauren was compatible
They went to the Lakefront
Fast forward to Breckenridge
This was the proposition Sam popped:
You're single, let's do it, try it, matrimony
My finger is waiting, come put a ring on it
Nursing's Lauren's day job
Sam, he is an engineer
Super Smash Brothers, he plays
Meanwhile, Lauren's grooming Sage
Lor, she had a goth phase
Way back in the eighth grade
Sam programs irrigation times
Tomatoes growing on the vine
Soon they're gonna get sandy, baby
First they'll show and tell
Then he'll reach for his cocktail
Lurk all over and through her baby
Until they reach the beach
Playing Doctor, Lauren's 'Teach'
“Thank You”
(to the tune of “Thank You” as recorded by Dido)
Building a business with no startup
capital is hard
Fortunately I was born for this
but cash still plays a part
my dad pitches in, he is not rich
but he believes in my art
it means the world, I'm humbled by it
forever in debt
Starving artists, we face obstacles
that's understated
tumors, homelessness, unemployment
“worthless” English majors
this old man's been there through thick and thin
braggin' to strangers
that his son makes a good hooker,
a red-haired her
I want to thank you
for being the best damn dad of my life
('cause there were so many other candidates;)
Oh just to be your son
is getting the best deal of my life
Keeps me fed with his salsa
apple butter, pickles too
Chauffeurs me when my car breaks
even when I'm dressed like a dude
have you seen my new website?
My dad bartered for it with his wife's son
He's a gem and a gentleman
I want to thank you
for being the best damn dad in my life
(though the imaginary one is gaining on ya)
I love bein' your son
despite Trans-Siberian Orchestra, you like;)
While I’m often great at conceiving parody songs, I’ve got to give credit to my breakdancing real estate agent friend for this idea. Enjoy:)
